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Joke category:


Joke category: Our man

Sitting in my favorite Arm chair last night , drilled two holes in the side and wouldnt you know it, those air plan head phones just dont work.
E.Gobblet

Sender david gandolfo

Joke category: Drinking

So a skeleton walks up to a bartender says i need a beer and a mop.

Sender cooper neville

Joke category: Dirty

How does an average card game resemble a night of sex?

If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Sender Brian Luznak

Joke category: National

3 iranian engineer are going to a conference along with 3 US engineers.In train station US ones buy three tickets and Iranian only one."how 3 persons travel with 1 ticket?"ask Us engineers."Wait and see" answerd Iranian.
They get on the train to the same cage.befor the ticket collector come,iranian go to the on of the WCs together.ticket collector comes and knocks the door "ticket please.".a hand comes out and gives the ticket and he goes."Well.that's so simple" US engineers say. after the conference US engineers do the same while the iranian don't buy any ticket."how u can travel with out any ticket?" USs asked."Wait and see" .
after they get on the train,befor ticket collector coming,USs go to the WC to gether and close the door.after a while one of the iranian knocks the door and says:"ticket please."

Sender bahram a

Joke category: Dirty

THE LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT. . .

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing
on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes
creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Lttle Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that
since my Abner died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and
excited I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so
"spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take
me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April
Fool!"! And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.




Sender Brian Luznak

Joke category: Dirty

An american guy walks into an Irish pub and with much anger shouts out, "You Irish are all the same. You're mean. You always smell. And you spend all your free time fucking goats, sheep, and chickens." There is a silent pause for awhile, then finally one put-off irishman stands up and exclaims, "Chickens?"

Sender Brian Luznak

Joke category: Dirty

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, Iím getting married this weekend and my fiancée thinks Iím a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?" The doctor says, "Medically, no, but hereís something you can try. On the wedding night, when youíre getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him itís your virginity snapping." The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby to be will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man. Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in" and she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that? The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping." The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, itís got my balls!"

Sender Unknown

Joke category: Family

A little boy walked in on his mother applying make-up early in the morning. Surprised to see such a sight, the boy fervently asked, "Mother, what are you doing to your face?"
After a good hearty chuckle, the mother replied, "I'm putting on make-up. You see, by doing this I can try to make myself look pretty for the people I meet today."
Well, the day went by without a hitch and it became nighttime. Again the little boy spied on his mother, but this time he caught her taking the make-up off. The little boy knowingly exasperated, "I see you're taking the make-up off now. What happened? Did you give up?"

Sender Brian Luznak

Joke category: Dirty

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, W'll never forget you!'

Sender John Smith

Total: 9


 





 

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